Things I Learned
The rarity of a true friend. In my experience, people tend to come and go throughout life. At times, some of those people seem to mean the world to you in the present, yet in the future you may eventually lose contact with them. Life is all about the people you share it with, and finding people to share important moments with—people who truly want the best for each other—is rarer than it might seem.
Growing up, the people around you can feel like they will be in your life forever. In some cases, that might be true, but in most cases it isn’t. Not to sound depressing, but it can be hard to truly know someone’s feelings and intentions toward you. To have someone by your side rooting for you and celebrating your accomplishments as if they were their own—that sounds like true friendship.
But what happens when things aren’t going well? In my opinion, that’s where it becomes clear who your real friends are. It’s easy when things are fun and going smoothly, but when life’s ups and downs run their course—and they will for nearly everyone—who are the people you know you can really lean on no matter what? That’s where I think you find truly genuine people. The love felt in those moments feels almost unconditional.
It’s important to distinguish between these types of friends, because it can dictate what you choose to share with others. If someone isn’t really there for you in those moments, maybe you should withhold deeply personal details from them. Real relationships are built on trust. If you trust that someone truly has your back in times of need, those are the people you should hold onto.
I’ve also learned that being a good friend requires intention. It’s not just about noticing who shows up for you, but making sure you show up just as consistently for them. True friendship isn’t passive—it takes effort, awareness, and a willingness to be present even when it’s inconvenient.
So how can someone tell who their real friends are? I like to look at the little things that matter. It could be something as simple as checking in every once in a while to see how things are going. It’s someone who remembers the small details of your life. It’s the ones who reach out when something important happens. It might even be those who help with mundane tasks, like moving or giving you a ride to the airport, or the people you’d trust to watch your dog.
These little things should also be returned to your friends—not to keep score, but because they’re done out of love and a genuine desire to see each other win in life. Being each other’s biggest fan is so overlooked and rare that it shouldn’t be allowed to slip away. It’s more valuable than money or any material item in the world.
Keep them around. Cherish your time with them. You never know where life will take you. It’s painful, yet extremely beautiful. No matter how far apart you are or how much time passes, those feelings never truly change. Remember: people with good souls create an unconditional bond that can last an eternity. Because of this, I try to live more intentionally, showing gratitude and presence to the people who choose to stay.